Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

Well if I’m watching shit like this in the theater, you know that it was a Blue Drink Rom-Com night. Gabe, Amanda and I (Sarah was sick) hit up the Cheesecake Factory next to the Meridian 16 downtown had some Blue Hawaiians, and some fried chicken sliders and hit up the new Mathew McConaughey/ Jennifer Gardner vehicle.

See, its a twist on a Christmas Carol, but with a terrible playboy as the lead instead of Scrooge. Get it?!

So, I hate Mathew McConaughey: I cannot stand the way he talks or the way he wears his clothes or his stupid face. I also cannot really stomach Jennifer Gardner, the one character she plays is annoying and her face, like McConaughy’s, is stupid. I saw this because I love Rom/coms, the shittier the better, the more they embrace the cliches the better, the more absurd, I want it all and on ten. Don’t hold back you hollywood hacks, I want your worst.

So, every single second when McConaughey or Gardner is talking is kind of a wash. Awful, trite and dull. But here is the crazy part: the supporting cast is pretty fucking good. This pile of shit was actually watchable based on a few performances. Micheal Douglas (who I also don’t really like as an actor-see notes at below trailers) is great as McConaughey’s lecherous womanizing Mentor/Uncle, he’s like a cross between Jack Nicholson, Hugh Hefner and Robert Evans. Very watchable and funny.

But the star of this movie is Emma Stone (from Superbad) she plays the buttrocker girl he lost his virginity to and the ghost who takes him on his trip through the past. She gets the best lines, the funniest jokes and runs off with the film every moment she is onscreen. Really couldn’tve been too hard with this turd, but still.

So, like one and a half stars maybe? Two stars if you’ve had two blue drinks or glasses of Chardonnay.

YEAH! I was looking for a clip of McConaughey being a D-bag. Here you go.

Okay, so my problem with Micheal Douglas… I really liked Romancing the Stone as a kid, but when he made the “Pity the White Man Trilogy” he lost me I can never ever forgive him ever. The trilogy consists of Fatal Attraction, Disclosure, and Falling Down. Fuck these movies and Micheal Douglas for acting in them. Boo.